you tried to get Al Green to hook up with your mom.

I am a child of the 70s which means I was around before the internet, cell phones, personal computers, digital music, omnipresent coffee shops and incurable STD’s. Everyone smoked. Drinking and driving wasn’t so bad and the idea of black presidents or black quarterbacks was a myth Back then, making love was just holding hands and talking to someone. At least that is how the lyrics made it sound. There were no songs telling where to put my dick or music videos showing me. Back then it was a real milkshake that brought all the boys to the yard. To my young ears, makin’ love was just being a friend. So anyway my parents took me, an my unworldlyness, to an Al Green concert at a dinner theater (that’s right, a dinner theater) called the Latin Casino in NJ.  We ate chicken during the opening act and then he hit the stage. The show, the band, the hits and the whole production blew my young mind. I sat in a cigarette smoke haze as everyone grooved- it was so cool.  I have always been a person that never had much distance between a thought and action and as I looked over at my parents cheering, I had an idea. My thought was that everyone could use another friend. So action followed. I stood up and scampered through the darkness onto the stage, got right behind the bongo player and followed him backstage. I stayed right with him until he reached the dressing room that was full of people- mostly women -smoking funny smelling cigarettes. I stepped from behind the bongo’r who looked surprised as hell to see this Afro’d 8-year-old behind him, and said, “Mr. Green. My mother is your biggest fan and she wants to make love to you.” The room paused and Al Green looked at me with all of his 70s cool AlGreeness and said, “Well, where’s she at?” Innocently I said. “Stay right there I’ll get her” Thinking that I was going to make my mother happy because I found her a new friend, I found my parents who were worried about me and said, “I told Al Green that you want to make love to him and he’s waiting for you backstage so you better get back there” My parents looked and me and gave me the “my son is retarded” look, that I have seen so many times now, and laughed. — 44 y/o male from Philly, PA


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