you’re kind of rapey.

I was crazy psyched to have gotten an interview for this travel company. They were going to offer me discounted fares, inside advice and a hefty paycheck on top of it all. Instead of the usual jitters I was more confident than I had ever been. Not because I was especially qualified for the job but because I really wanted it and felt I was destined to get hired. At this point in my life I was smoking several blunts a day which is a sure way to lose some grip on reality.

So this ignorant, unfounded confidence helped me make an ass out of myself. I walked into the interview arrogant and high as fuck feeling like the man, James Archer Sterling Bond, and was even more pumped when I met my interviewer; she looked like Mila Kunis and Megan Fox rolled into one.

Somehow, at that moment, I had convinced myself that instead of sitting through a line of questioning, the easier way to secure the job would be to seduce this supermodel-esque woman. Long story short, I introduced myself, kissed her on the hand and said something to the effect of “let’s skip this whole needless interview session and jump right to the part where I take you to dinner.”

She stared at me blankly and then told me to get out before I embarrassed myself further. 

— 22 y/o male, Philly, PA.


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