you pissed on her and now she’s your wife.

So my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I go to a beef and beer that is affectionately called the $5 drinkup. I am getting way hammered all night and the whole time she is warning me not to do anything stupid which I repeatedly ignore. The ride home is a total blur and I pass out immediately upon getting to her parents. I wake up to her  screaming at me and I look down and I am peeing on the pull out bed we’re sleeping in. Standing at the end of the bed and peeing. I pinch it off, run to the bathroom and finish. When I get back my pee spot on the bed has swelled to cover about 1/3 of the bed, which also happens to be a feather mattress topper and I had peed so much it is literally pouring off the bed onto the floor. Now we’re married.

— 27 y/o male from Philly, PA


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