my first strip club.

After free Mary Kay facials, makeup lessons, an abundance of free food and pink drinks, a friend and her husband decide the next logical step in our night is to go to the strip club. I don’t want to go because it’s not my thing and frankly I am afraid it might look like a highschool reunion in there. Tonight, it doesn’t matter what I want. We’re going.

My friend, her husband and the friendly couple they hang out with from down the street went from gently pushing me to a much more forceful shove when I let on that I’d never been to a strip club.

What I experienced was not what I expected.

When one of the gentlemen I’m with lets me know how horny I’m probably going to get, I decide there’s been a mistake. I am not supposed to be here.

Too late. We walk into a room full of walking boobies. A stripper pole stands in the center of the bar with a girl flying at half staff. Each lady wipes the pole with sanitizer before her turn. The beers are cheap. I am drunk to begin with so I’m having fun. A stripper gives me a scalp massage and I tell her she can do that all night. I trade her a dollar.

My friend Justin walks into the bar. He says he likes this place because there’s no cover. I say I’ve never heard of a strip club with no cover. He says this is Pottstown. I say, “Hey Justin, meet my friend” ready to introduce him to my friend with the husband.

I turn to make my introductions but it’s not the appropriate time because my girlfriend is getting lippy with the stripper in the red fishnets.

“I’m gonna get my clothes on and come outside and beat your ass!” says the stripper.

Her co-worker walks up to the bar to back her up, and as my friend’s husband tries to calm everyone down, stripper gives my friend’s long, dark hair a hearty tug.

We leave shortly after, but not before the stripper threatens to call the cops.

— 22 y/o female from Pottstown, PA


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